Trust me, I'd rather have been blogging

So... remember last week I told you about our encounter with pertussis?  As you can imagine, that made for a really interesting week.

Jazmyn was signed up to begin a book group with some other homeschooled girls her age.  It's a big deal that she wanted to do this at all- last year she was allergic to the idea.  Given what happened, I asked the other parents to let me know if they were immunized.  Two people wrote back.  Several days later, I asked again.  I'll spare the details, but people did not appreciate being asked.  I'm going to compare the level of offense to asking someone's political affiliation or religion.  Evidently, there are four things you don't talk about: sex, religion, politics and vaccination.

People get offended- whatever.  What concerned me about the exchange was that I think people really don't understand why I at least think I have an interest.  The question seems to be "If you're vaccinated, why does it matter if I am?"

It matters.  NPR does a better job explaining than I'm about to, but it has to do with the development of immunity and how long the vaccination lasts.  Even children who get the shots are vulnerable before the age of five.  At about five, their immunity has kicked in.  (Which is why our pediatricians' office was not worried at all about Simon and Jacob, and why they don't have any symptoms.)  However, the vaccine's effect fades, and by the age of twelve, they're vulnerable if they don't get a booster.  Unfortunately, Michael and I had not gotten a booster.  This is why I- and my sons- spent last weekend at home, I spent Sunday night feverish and not at the political event I wanted to go to and Michael couldn't do any work on Thursday.  You see, I was given Zithromax, which is finished in five days.  For a number of reasons, he can't take that drug so he was given Bactrim.  (I actually have no idea why anyone gives anyone else Bactrim for anything, because in my experience it doesn't work, but that's another story.)  Upshot: Michael is still sick.

We, the adults who make things go in our house, have lost some time, productivity and money, but we'll live through it.  Even untreated, we'd have lived through it (probably).  As would my almost-twelve year old and my seventeen year old.  Even the seven year old twins would probably have lived through it if unvaccinated (although asthmatic little Jacob, who suffered a fit of asthma on Thursday after we walked by someone smoking, is more vulnerable).  But you know who might not?  My tiny little nephew and niece who are coming to visit the States in December.  They will only be five months old.  Jazmyn agreed with me that her cousins- and her father- are more important than a book group she would participate in once or twice per month and is fine not participating.

It's fine... but it's not.  It's nothing short of prejudice to assume that because one member of a group did something most other members will do the same, but I can't lose two weeks again.  (Also, I am wondering if people from the smaller group have started huffing and puffing about my intrusion into their privacy within the larger group.)  I'm not sure what to do.  I've made three friends in this community that I feel comfortable with- maybe that will have to be it.

I don't worry about removing Jazmyn or Jacob from a group of potential contacts, but I do worry about Simon.  For now, he thrives off of social contacts.  I take them to the playground frequently, but he likes playdates too.  So it was the perfect cap to the week when I got a call from Jazmyn's music program that Simon could proceed to the music workshop he had interviewed for... but Jacob could not.  I cried when I told Michael about it.  Jacob says he's fine- he doesn't want to practice anyway- but I don't know if that will hold when Simon starts and he doesn't.  What I do know is that it would be unfair to Simon to take that away from him especially if I have to take away something else.  Hopefully special time with Dad and piano lessons from his sisters will make up for it a little bit with Jacob.

Oh yeah... I also visited D.C. and spoke to Senator Brown this week, but that's a tale for another day.

Deb in the City